Sep 2 2008
Insult of the Day:
I don’t mind that you are talking so long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.
Joke of the Day:
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the ‘unbreakable’ comb for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.”
Sep 2 2008
Insult of the Day:
Look through your towels and tell us the name of the hotel you stayed at in Detroit.
Joke of the Day:
Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!
Sep 1 2008
Insult of the Day:
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
Joke of the Day:
Why did the cowboy ride his horse? Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
Sep 1 2008
Insult of the Day:
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
Joke of the Day:
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?” “Why, officer?” asks the blonde. “Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.” “Oh my goodness,” exclaims the blonde, “I left my baby on the bus!”
Aug 31 2008
Insult of the Day:
I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!
Joke of the Day:
“This birthday cake certainly is crunchy.” “Maybe you should spit out the plate!”
Aug 31 2008
Insult of the Day:
When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound.
Joke of the Day:
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush.
Aug 29 2008
Insult of the Day:
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Joke of the Day:
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.” So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish. The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.” Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England. The Irishman asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.” The Genie explains, “well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or ou t.” The Irishman says, “Fill it up with water.”
Aug 29 2008
Insult of the Day:
I don’t think you are a fool. But then, what’s my own humble opinion against thousands of others?
Joke of the Day:
What did the alien say to the gas pump ? Don’t you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I’m talking to you !
Aug 28 2008
Insult of the Day:
Believe me, I don’t want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
Joke of the Day:
In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven’t changed at all!
Aug 28 2008
Insult of the Day:
Yo momma’s so stupid she got fired from a blow job.
Joke of the Day:
Our team is doing so badly that “Manager of the Month” isn’t an award. It’s an appointment!
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